Quiz
For some unknown reason, I'm on the mailing list for "For Him" magazine. I know I didn't ever pay for the subscription. I think I got it free with ten gallons of gas or something. Anyway, the latest one came in the mail yesterday.

My wife handed it to me smirking, "Should you dump her? Ten ways to find out."

I looked at the cover and read the headline, "huh. They're probably just trying to mock Cosmo for it's quizzes."

She started back to her desk, "Yeah." Then after sitting down and waiting long enough for me to forget the whole thing, "So, you going to take the quiz?"

"Wha - ah, no. No. Of course not."

"Because you already know?" With her back to me, I couldn't read her intent, but I smelled a trap.

"Yes. I don't need to take a survey." Then, because I was getting cocky about avoiding the trap, I threw in a little barb, "I made that decision a long time ago."

She turned in her chair, every bit the evil genius, just missing a Persian cat in her lap, "Are you saying you feel trapped by your decision, or that you're afraid of what the quiz might tell you?"

Suddenly I felt the trap that I thought I'd avoided spring all around me. In these moments, I usually panic and fall back on the only defense that I can truly get behind; The unadulterated truth. "I'm not afraid to take the quiz, but I have no need to take it, because I already know that I am steadfast in my love for you."

I waited through a pregnant pause, as she frowned slightly. I didn't dare say anything, because the key to unadulterated truth is that it has to be short. If I started talking, I could still screw it up. Meanwhile, she tried to find an angle in my defense, but that's the best thing about the unadulterated truth. There's no two ways around it.

"Well, I love you too." It was as close as I could get to a victory. I was quietly exultant.

About an hour later, while she was working on school work, and I was playing GTA, she turned to me and said, "Hon, I'm sorry, but the noise of the game is starting to get to me."

"Say no more. You're school work takes priority. No problem," I turned off the PS2, and swiveled back to face my desk.

After another moment, I heard, "You're not taking the quiz, are you?"

I dropped the magazine, and said, "No. uh. No. I was, uh. Looking at the naked women. Yeah."

That might be the first time I've used the, "I don't read it for the articles" defense.

- posted by BrandG @ 2:12 AM