Icy Cold Bling Bling
I was leaving my local Wal-Mart Super Center, and happened on this display.



See, It's like this, yo. If you wan' the respect, you gots to get the Bling. An' if you wants the bling, you gots to get the chedda'. Ain't nobody gonna give you the chedda, yo, 'less they hear you bust tha' mad rhymes. And no way you're gettin' up on stage unless you got the respect. So, you see tha predic'ment.

Tha's why a little G gotta start out with tha' Icy Cold Bling Bling. When you ain' got tha chedda, an you gots to get the bling, ain't no better place than the Wal-Mart doorway.

Something tells me that when you buy into the Icy Cold Bling Bling, you're taking a dangerous step from bein' a stone cold, hard-ass G-dog, and into bein' an Icy Hot Stunta

Seriously, I start thinking about who their target audience is. Is it the pasty-faced pre-teen white boy shamefully looking both ways before dropping a quarter in the machine, and then inspecting the plastic bubble filled with his ill-gotten respect? Does that child pop open the bubble, inspecting the plastic jewelry, thinking, "This is probably close enough, as long as nobody checks it out too close."

Is it the teen who buys it just as a joke, perhaps putting in a couple of dollars in quarters, so that he can put together his halloween costume?

Or worse yet, is it the little child, who has no idea what the words mean, or why he wants it, but he's always hearing people on TV talk about it, so it must be something good. I picture an eight-year-old who only knows that he wants the bling so he can get the girlies, even though he knows all girls have cooties.
- posted by BrandG @ 1:32 AM